I have two daughters. The oldest is four and the youngest is not yet two. They teach me a great deal about life, and sometimes their lessons have startlingly clear business applications.
The other day, while we were out running errands, I gave both girls coloring books and map pencils to keep them entertained.
"Maahhhhhm," whined the four-year-old, "she won't give me the green color."
I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw that she was holding out her hand, open-palmed, waiting for her sister to obligingly hand over the pencil. "Give me the green one, Caroline!" she whined again.
Not surprisingly, her requests were met with nothing more than a scowl from Caroline, who went right back to coloring.
"Try trading one of your other colors, Hannah," I advised, "No one likes to give stuff away for free. And try asking in a really nice voice."
Hannah selected an orange pencil from her cache and held it out for Caroline to see. "Here Caroline, can I trade you an orange color for that green one?" she asked in a saccharine-sweet tone.
Like magic, Caroline smiled at her sister, took the orange pencil and placed the green one in her sister's hand.
"Did it work?" I asked, trying my best not to sound smug.
"Yep!" said Hannah, "Sure did."
When it comes down to it, we grown-ups aren't all that different from preschoolers. We're much more likely to collaborate with others if we know there's something in it for us. Think about your latest networking efforts: Are you going in with your empty hand held open, saying "Gimme!" Or are you digging through your toolbox and figuring out what you've got to offer them?
If you've uttered the phrase, "Networking just hasn't panned out for me," then perhaps you're doing it wrong. Take a lesson from a four-year-old and see if you don't get what you're looking for in the long run.
